Why haven’t I written for the past four months?

Why haven’t I written for the past four months? Is it because I’m not really an author? Am I a one hit wonder? I wrote for 80-days straight and then nothing, zilch, nada tostada. So what happened? I felt great when I was writing every day, so why did I stop?
A week after I completed part II of The Superman Effect, an opportunity to have my book published presented itself. Did it ever!

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Was it pure coincidence? After going through countless serendipitous happenings, witnessing so many magic moments, trusting that all is perfect and seeing my new life arranging itself exactly as I had envisioned, it’s a bit of a stretch to believe in coincidences. Well I entered the competition the day I received the invitation. No fear in the registration moment. It was one of a few inspired actions that would carry me to today. I say a few because the past four months have been full of empty space and then a few perfectly timed actions. The juice of life resides amidst a sea of inactivity or worse, activity that is uninspired. “I’m supposed to be busy so I’ll pack my day with stuff to do”. I took a different approach to the past four months. I let it be. If I did not feel inspired to act, I did nothing. I did not feel like writing even though I had quit my job to become a writer so I did not write. I did not feel ready to promote my life coaching business so I took classes instead. I would tell myself that I am doing inner work. Did that feel good? Not at all. I’m supposed to be going gangbusters, pushing through my inertia and making money. Yet, my intuition was tugging at me to learn a deeper lesson: Can I sit with inactivity without judgment? Can I wrestle with my resistance to be still until I felt the freedom that comes from winning the battle? Can I truly trust that, as an old song from the musical Pippin says “Everything has its seasons, everything has its time.”? I will have the energy to take appropriate action when the time is right. So I took long walks, then felt bad about it. I met up with old friends for lunch, then rushed to listen to an audio about making things happen. Constant guilt, then acceptance, then more guilt and more acceptance.

I do not know if I will win the competition. What I do know is that these past four months have taught me more about letting go than any other period in my life. The desire to do more, be more, achieve more is subsiding. Divine purpose and surrender is taking its place. I am opening my heart and now, after four months, I am ready to write about what’s inside.

No other agenda but to open my heart more and more. I may never be published but I guarantee you that I will feel fulfilled. My new desire: To open my heart without judgment. Feel you tomorrow!