"It was in 1896, about 6 weeks before I left Madurai for good (to go to Tiruvannamalai - Arunachala) that this great change in my life took place. I was sitting alone in a room on the first floor of my uncle's house. I seldom had any sickness and on that day there was nothing wrong with my health, but a sudden violent fear of death overtook me. There was nothing in my state of health to account for it nor was there any urge in me to find out whether there was any account for the fear. I just felt I was going to die and began thinking what to do about it. It did not occur to me to consult a doctor or any elders or friends. I felt I had to solve the problem myself then and there. The shock of the fear of death drove my mind inwards and I said to myself mentally, without actually framing the words: 'Now death has come; what does it mean? What is it that is dying? This body dies.' And at once I dramatised the occurrence of death. I lay with my limbs stretched out still as though rigor mortis has set in, and imitated a corpse so as to give greater reality to the enquiry. I held my breath and kept my lips tightly closed so that no sound could escape, and that neither the word 'I' nor any word could be uttered. 'Well then,' I said to myself, 'this body is dead. It will be carried stiff to the burning ground and there burn and reduced to ashes. But with the death of the body, am I dead? Is the body I? It is silent and inert, but I feel the full force of my personality and even the voice of I within me, apart from it. So I am the Spirit transcending the body. The body dies but the spirit transcending it cannot be touched by death. That means I am the deathless Spirit.' All this was not dull thought; it flashed through me vividly as living truths which I perceived directly almost without thought process. I was something real, the only real thing about my present state, and all the conscious activity connected with the body was centered on that I. From that moment onwards, the I or Self focused attention on itself by a powerful fascination. Fear of death vanished once and for all. The ego was lost in the flood of Self-awareness. Absorption in the Self continued unbroken from that time. Other thought might come and go like the various notes of music, but the I continued like the fundamental sruti [that which is heard] note which underlies and blends with all other notes.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Choose Again
Three weeks ago I found out that DC Comics and Warner Brothers both denied my request to use “Superman” in the title of my book or to use any quotes from the movie. For those of you that have read some of my manuscript, you know the importance I have placed on the Superman Motif. Is it a deal breaker? Heaven’s no. It was for a few weeks however. I was devastated by the news that The Superman Effect would not be a reality. I would be lying to you if I said that I just got back up and created a new reality. Manifestation is hard work and sometimes we are thrown a left hook that knocks us down for the count. Getting back up means I have faith that there is a purpose for everything that happens and that even if every sign points to a dream as an illusion, I choose to trust that the dream seed is the only reality. I decided to get back up and call my book The Super Human Effect: My Quest for the Moment When Everything Changes. I see my book as a testament to connecting to who we are by fully honoring our humanity instead of seeing it as a tragic mistake. My book is not about a man but about a human being who chooses to follow his heart no matter what reality looks like.
In March, you will have the opportunity to read a book about your life too. One of the greatest obstacles to living our life’s calling is the belief that we are alone in the world. That our experiences are unique and that no one can relate to our depth of confusion and despair. We doubt whether there really is a supportive universe that “gets us”. We ask the ultimate question at the heart of our sense of separation: “What is wrong with me?” Our work begins when a specific answer is revealed: “Nothing is wrong with you.” A flood of judgments come our way and every moment becomes an opportunity to deliberately choose acceptance or resistance. The Super Human Effect is about the power of free will to reveal our destiny. When the moment arrives where you become aware that “nothing is wrong with you”, what follows is a shift in perception from doubt to certainty. What is born is the free will to make one choice: join the rest of creation in becoming an instrument of divine grace. What is left behind is the struggle perpetuated by a state of resistance to what we think, feel, do and are.
If you are not enjoying the present moment, ask yourself: “What am I resisting?” In the answer lies your unique path to freedom.
So The Superman Effect will not be. That’s okay. I’ll choose again.
In March, you will have the opportunity to read a book about your life too. One of the greatest obstacles to living our life’s calling is the belief that we are alone in the world. That our experiences are unique and that no one can relate to our depth of confusion and despair. We doubt whether there really is a supportive universe that “gets us”. We ask the ultimate question at the heart of our sense of separation: “What is wrong with me?” Our work begins when a specific answer is revealed: “Nothing is wrong with you.” A flood of judgments come our way and every moment becomes an opportunity to deliberately choose acceptance or resistance. The Super Human Effect is about the power of free will to reveal our destiny. When the moment arrives where you become aware that “nothing is wrong with you”, what follows is a shift in perception from doubt to certainty. What is born is the free will to make one choice: join the rest of creation in becoming an instrument of divine grace. What is left behind is the struggle perpetuated by a state of resistance to what we think, feel, do and are.
If you are not enjoying the present moment, ask yourself: “What am I resisting?” In the answer lies your unique path to freedom.
So The Superman Effect will not be. That’s okay. I’ll choose again.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Is There Another Way?
Are we on earth to earn our right to be on earth? Can our value be increased by what we learn, what we believe, how we behave, how many degrees we have, how much money we make or how many people hold us in esteem?
Answering these questions lie at the heart of my confusion and struggle. I find every moment as an opportunity to accept or reject what is.
Is it possible to accept ourselves as being enough just as we are?
So often I hear from people in my practice who are not okay with their lack of motivation. “Dennis, I really want to make this happen but I don’t have a strong enough “why””. “Dennis, I don’t know what is wrong with me. Why can’t I push myself to follow through?”
At a time when our net worth determines our self-worth, it is understandable that any sign we may not have what it takes to do more and be more is amplified with superhuman strength. It takes a great deal of energy to confirm the “little man” inside us. Is it any wonder we feel unmotivated and exhausted?
What if there is another way? What if we fully believed that our value is set at its highest level the moment we are born and there is nothing we can do to diminish or increase it in the eyes of the ultimate reality? What if chasing desires outside of the present moment is an illusion and what we awaken to is the realization that not just is the moment perfect but so are we?
I hold a vision of a life that is not influenced by the vacillations of opinions and judgments, rather only sees the light behind the mask. The light of pure love is in all of us. We were born with this light. We are this light and all that stands between us and who we truly are is acceptance.
Here is an excerpt from the preface of A Course in Miracles. I see it as a moment that was unexpected, divinely inspired and that changed everything. I see it as The Super Human Effect.
"Psychologist, educator, conservative in theory and atheistic in belief. I was working in a prestigious and highly academic setting. And then something happened that triggered a chain of events I could never have predicted. The head of my department unexpectedly announced that he was tired of the angry and aggressive feelings our attitudes reflected, and concluded that there must be another way. As if on cue, I agreed to help him find it. Apparently this Course is the other way."- A Course in Miracles
Answering these questions lie at the heart of my confusion and struggle. I find every moment as an opportunity to accept or reject what is.
Is it possible to accept ourselves as being enough just as we are?
So often I hear from people in my practice who are not okay with their lack of motivation. “Dennis, I really want to make this happen but I don’t have a strong enough “why””. “Dennis, I don’t know what is wrong with me. Why can’t I push myself to follow through?”
At a time when our net worth determines our self-worth, it is understandable that any sign we may not have what it takes to do more and be more is amplified with superhuman strength. It takes a great deal of energy to confirm the “little man” inside us. Is it any wonder we feel unmotivated and exhausted?
What if there is another way? What if we fully believed that our value is set at its highest level the moment we are born and there is nothing we can do to diminish or increase it in the eyes of the ultimate reality? What if chasing desires outside of the present moment is an illusion and what we awaken to is the realization that not just is the moment perfect but so are we?
I hold a vision of a life that is not influenced by the vacillations of opinions and judgments, rather only sees the light behind the mask. The light of pure love is in all of us. We were born with this light. We are this light and all that stands between us and who we truly are is acceptance.
Here is an excerpt from the preface of A Course in Miracles. I see it as a moment that was unexpected, divinely inspired and that changed everything. I see it as The Super Human Effect.
"Psychologist, educator, conservative in theory and atheistic in belief. I was working in a prestigious and highly academic setting. And then something happened that triggered a chain of events I could never have predicted. The head of my department unexpectedly announced that he was tired of the angry and aggressive feelings our attitudes reflected, and concluded that there must be another way. As if on cue, I agreed to help him find it. Apparently this Course is the other way."- A Course in Miracles
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Helping Hand by Dennis Rodriguez
Last Friday I had an experience of pure unmitigated joy. A friend was coming over to my house first thing in the morning to discuss heart intelligence. As I opened the door, I noticed he was looking at something outside my living room window.
“Hey Dennis, take a look. It looks like this pigeon is dying.”
A pigeon laid on its back on my porch and it looked to me like it was gasping for its last breath. I didn’t know what to do. I know nothing about birds and had no idea how to help. No answers, no intuition, nothing. We went inside my house and just five seconds later I said:
“I have to do something. Can you give me a minute?”
I went back outside and fully took in the sorrowful scene. The pigeon was barely moving and all I could see was suffering. My mind had no healing answers but I knew I had to touch the pigeon. So I placed my finger tips on the bird’s left wing.
In an instant, the bird came to life and flew away. My whole being went into a state of bliss. My thoughts were completely halted and I relished in this momentary piercing of the veil. I had witnessed one of God’s creatures through the perception of death and defeat. The pigeon laying on its back, helpless, with every visible sign of death’s door approaching. All it needed was a helping hand, to help it not just come back to life but to feel fully alive and to soar.
It may have just been my perception. A bird aficionado out there might inform me that birds get stuck on their backs all the time. No matter. What I know is that I thought the bird was dying and in a moment, everything changed.
Perhaps this was an example of a shamanic experience. One in which nature’s creatures teach us to view life differently. Is there a deeper message in this story for me? For us all? When all seems hopeless and we feel like our dream is coming to an end, a helping hand comes our way that maybe, just maybe might be all we need to soar.
“Hey Dennis, take a look. It looks like this pigeon is dying.”
A pigeon laid on its back on my porch and it looked to me like it was gasping for its last breath. I didn’t know what to do. I know nothing about birds and had no idea how to help. No answers, no intuition, nothing. We went inside my house and just five seconds later I said:
“I have to do something. Can you give me a minute?”
I went back outside and fully took in the sorrowful scene. The pigeon was barely moving and all I could see was suffering. My mind had no healing answers but I knew I had to touch the pigeon. So I placed my finger tips on the bird’s left wing.
In an instant, the bird came to life and flew away. My whole being went into a state of bliss. My thoughts were completely halted and I relished in this momentary piercing of the veil. I had witnessed one of God’s creatures through the perception of death and defeat. The pigeon laying on its back, helpless, with every visible sign of death’s door approaching. All it needed was a helping hand, to help it not just come back to life but to feel fully alive and to soar.
It may have just been my perception. A bird aficionado out there might inform me that birds get stuck on their backs all the time. No matter. What I know is that I thought the bird was dying and in a moment, everything changed.
Perhaps this was an example of a shamanic experience. One in which nature’s creatures teach us to view life differently. Is there a deeper message in this story for me? For us all? When all seems hopeless and we feel like our dream is coming to an end, a helping hand comes our way that maybe, just maybe might be all we need to soar.
Friday, September 17, 2010
A visit to the planet Kairos by Dennis Rodriguez
There are two words in the Greek language for time. One is chronos- the time of linearity and cool clocks and the other is kairos- the ever-present now, which is observed outside of space-time.
This year, our summer trip to British Columbia was especially beautiful. For the first time in the 15 years my wife and I had been vacationing in Canada, we were to spend a full week on Hornby Island, a piece of hippy paradise between Vancouver Island and the mainland.
On the last day of our Hornby stay, I made a decision. “This time I’m going to make it happen!” I’m going to get up before the crack of dawn, walk 20 minutes with flashlight in hand to Heliwell Provincial Park and snap a picture of the rising Sun over the coastal mountains. I had no idea exactly when the sun would rise. No internet connection or newspaper to fill me in on the handy detail so I set the alarm for 4:30am, noticed that it was still pretty dark out and trotted down the road. It was close to five when I arrived at the Heliwell cliffs. It looked really bright out by then and I couldn’t find the sun. I started getting worried. “Did I miss the sunrise? Why didn’t I prepare more? I don’t get it. The sun rises in the east. The mountains are to the east. Where is the sun?” I sat down on a boulder, dejected, feeling ignorant of my direction.
I then made another decision. “Forget about the sunrise, it was not meant to happen. Just sit and meditate, look out at the ocean and give the mind a break.” I didn’t have a watch except for the one on my camera so I did not time my meditation session. I just sat until I got up and started walking again. I was at peace with missing the execution of my plan. What choice did I have? Heliwell is a loop so instead of walking back, I kept walking through the cliffs in the direction of the forest. I stopped to catch a picture of a lone deer chowing down on early morning grub. I slowed down so as to not scare the five campers in sleeping bags still lying down contemplating God’s celestial creation. About five feet from entering the forest, I am stopped dead in my tracks by a burning heat and blinding light on the right side of my face. I turned to the source and that is when I saw it. The sun had begun to shine its face over the mountains. I took out my camera and with a delectable experience of suspended thought, I snapped the picture.
I had caught up with the kairos moment. It was not lost after all. The lack of diligent preparation did not matter. The meditation was neither a consolation prize nor a diversion. My wanderings were part of the plan; the deer slowed me down and the native campers were in on it. Even though everything was telling me I missed my moment, that my desire would not be met, it all proved to be a necessary part of the planned moment and I ended up at the right place at the right time.
Incidentally, the time on the camera when I snapped the picture was 5:55.
This year, our summer trip to British Columbia was especially beautiful. For the first time in the 15 years my wife and I had been vacationing in Canada, we were to spend a full week on Hornby Island, a piece of hippy paradise between Vancouver Island and the mainland.
On the last day of our Hornby stay, I made a decision. “This time I’m going to make it happen!” I’m going to get up before the crack of dawn, walk 20 minutes with flashlight in hand to Heliwell Provincial Park and snap a picture of the rising Sun over the coastal mountains. I had no idea exactly when the sun would rise. No internet connection or newspaper to fill me in on the handy detail so I set the alarm for 4:30am, noticed that it was still pretty dark out and trotted down the road. It was close to five when I arrived at the Heliwell cliffs. It looked really bright out by then and I couldn’t find the sun. I started getting worried. “Did I miss the sunrise? Why didn’t I prepare more? I don’t get it. The sun rises in the east. The mountains are to the east. Where is the sun?” I sat down on a boulder, dejected, feeling ignorant of my direction.
I then made another decision. “Forget about the sunrise, it was not meant to happen. Just sit and meditate, look out at the ocean and give the mind a break.” I didn’t have a watch except for the one on my camera so I did not time my meditation session. I just sat until I got up and started walking again. I was at peace with missing the execution of my plan. What choice did I have? Heliwell is a loop so instead of walking back, I kept walking through the cliffs in the direction of the forest. I stopped to catch a picture of a lone deer chowing down on early morning grub. I slowed down so as to not scare the five campers in sleeping bags still lying down contemplating God’s celestial creation. About five feet from entering the forest, I am stopped dead in my tracks by a burning heat and blinding light on the right side of my face. I turned to the source and that is when I saw it. The sun had begun to shine its face over the mountains. I took out my camera and with a delectable experience of suspended thought, I snapped the picture.
I had caught up with the kairos moment. It was not lost after all. The lack of diligent preparation did not matter. The meditation was neither a consolation prize nor a diversion. My wanderings were part of the plan; the deer slowed me down and the native campers were in on it. Even though everything was telling me I missed my moment, that my desire would not be met, it all proved to be a necessary part of the planned moment and I ended up at the right place at the right time.
Incidentally, the time on the camera when I snapped the picture was 5:55.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Gandhi's Moment- The Train Ride
Nervous Lawyer to Peaceful Refuser
“The turning point in the lives of those who succeed, usually comes at the moment of some crisis through which they are introduced to their “other selves’.” – Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
(Excerpts from The Essential Gandhi- An Anthology Edited by Louis Fischer Random House, NY 1962)
[When Gandhi landed at Durban, Natal, in May, 1893 his mission was simply to win a lawsuit, earn some money and perhaps, at long last start his career. The lawsuit required Gandhi’s presence in Pretoria, the capital of Transvaal. First-class accommodations were purchased for him at Durban, where he boarded the train for the overnight journey.]
The train reached Maritzburg, the capital of Natal, at about 9 P.M. [A white man entered the compartment] and looked me up and down. He saw that I was a “colored” man. This disturbed him. Out he went and came in with one or two officials. They all kept quiet, when another official came to me and said, “Come along, you must go to the van [third class] compartment.”
“But I have a first-class ticket, said I.
“That doesn’t matter,” rejoined the other. “I tell you, you must go to the van compartment.”
“I tell you, I was permitted to travel in this compartment at Durban and I insist on going on in it.”
“No you won’t, said the official.” You must leave the compartment or else I shall have to call a police constable to push you out.”
“Yes you may. I refuse to get out voluntarily.”
The constable came. He took me by the hand and pushed me out. My luggage also was taken out… and the train steamed away. I went and sat in the waiting room…
It was winter, and winter in the higher regions of South Africa is severely cold. Maritzburg being at a high altitude, the cold was extremely bitter. My overcoat was in my luggage but I did not dare to ask for it lest I might be insulted and assaulted once again. [So] I sat and shivered. There was no light in the room… Sleep was out of the question.
I began to think of my duty. Should I fight for my rights or go back to India or should I go on to Pretoria without minding the insults and return to India after finishing the case? It would be cowardice to run back to India without fulfilling my obligation. The hardship to which I was subjected was superficial- only a symptom of the deep disease of color prejudice. I should try, if possible, to root out the disease and suffer hardships in the process. Redress for wrongs I should seek only to the extent that would be necessary for the removal of the color prejudice.
…This resolution somewhat pacified and strengthened me but I did not get any sleep.
…I suffered further insults and received more beatings on my way to Pretoria. But all this only confirmed me in my determination.
Thus…I obtained full experience of the condition of Indians in South Africa. [Many years later in India, Dr. John R. Mott, a Christian missionary, asked Gandhi, “What have been the most creative experiences in your life?” In reply, Gandhi told the story of the night in Maritzburg Station.]"
A “creative experience”. Did Gandhi create at the Maritzburg Station or did he awaken to an inner knowing; a determination and courage that it was time to make a decision that would forever alter the course of his life? Is this type of insight part of the creative process unfolding in our lives? Can we do anything to speed it along?
I am looking for moments of transformation all the time. This search is a double-edge sword. On the one hand, the search keeps me curious and captivated by inspiring stories such as this one, looking for magic in everyday life. Sometimes with a massive telescope scouring the heavens and everything under the sun for a glimpse of reality, other times with a high-powered microscope dissecting moments into infinitesimal units of meaning that jives with my worldview, never satisfied with a moment that feels stagnant and juiceless.
On the other hand, the search itself keeps me from experiencing and appreciating what is right in front of me. Noticing the cheeky sparkle in my children’s eyes when I drop them off at school, or the sweet music I hear when I tap on the keyboard with my two index fingers as I write these words. There is a constant undulation between wanting more and being in a state of gratitude for what I have. Is this okay? When I surrender to the movement of these two forces in my life, whichever one shows up, everything feels easier. Did Gandhi muster up the courage to forge ahead or did he just say "yes" to the force that said it’s time to move?
The Superman Effect continues to be an experiment, an exploration into life’s mysteries. The journey of remembering who we really are has no end. I don’t have answers today. Besides, questions are much more fun!
“The turning point in the lives of those who succeed, usually comes at the moment of some crisis through which they are introduced to their “other selves’.” – Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
(Excerpts from The Essential Gandhi- An Anthology Edited by Louis Fischer Random House, NY 1962)
[When Gandhi landed at Durban, Natal, in May, 1893 his mission was simply to win a lawsuit, earn some money and perhaps, at long last start his career. The lawsuit required Gandhi’s presence in Pretoria, the capital of Transvaal. First-class accommodations were purchased for him at Durban, where he boarded the train for the overnight journey.]
The train reached Maritzburg, the capital of Natal, at about 9 P.M. [A white man entered the compartment] and looked me up and down. He saw that I was a “colored” man. This disturbed him. Out he went and came in with one or two officials. They all kept quiet, when another official came to me and said, “Come along, you must go to the van [third class] compartment.”
“But I have a first-class ticket, said I.
“That doesn’t matter,” rejoined the other. “I tell you, you must go to the van compartment.”
“I tell you, I was permitted to travel in this compartment at Durban and I insist on going on in it.”
“No you won’t, said the official.” You must leave the compartment or else I shall have to call a police constable to push you out.”
“Yes you may. I refuse to get out voluntarily.”
The constable came. He took me by the hand and pushed me out. My luggage also was taken out… and the train steamed away. I went and sat in the waiting room…
It was winter, and winter in the higher regions of South Africa is severely cold. Maritzburg being at a high altitude, the cold was extremely bitter. My overcoat was in my luggage but I did not dare to ask for it lest I might be insulted and assaulted once again. [So] I sat and shivered. There was no light in the room… Sleep was out of the question.
I began to think of my duty. Should I fight for my rights or go back to India or should I go on to Pretoria without minding the insults and return to India after finishing the case? It would be cowardice to run back to India without fulfilling my obligation. The hardship to which I was subjected was superficial- only a symptom of the deep disease of color prejudice. I should try, if possible, to root out the disease and suffer hardships in the process. Redress for wrongs I should seek only to the extent that would be necessary for the removal of the color prejudice.
…This resolution somewhat pacified and strengthened me but I did not get any sleep.
…I suffered further insults and received more beatings on my way to Pretoria. But all this only confirmed me in my determination.
Thus…I obtained full experience of the condition of Indians in South Africa. [Many years later in India, Dr. John R. Mott, a Christian missionary, asked Gandhi, “What have been the most creative experiences in your life?” In reply, Gandhi told the story of the night in Maritzburg Station.]"
A “creative experience”. Did Gandhi create at the Maritzburg Station or did he awaken to an inner knowing; a determination and courage that it was time to make a decision that would forever alter the course of his life? Is this type of insight part of the creative process unfolding in our lives? Can we do anything to speed it along?
I am looking for moments of transformation all the time. This search is a double-edge sword. On the one hand, the search keeps me curious and captivated by inspiring stories such as this one, looking for magic in everyday life. Sometimes with a massive telescope scouring the heavens and everything under the sun for a glimpse of reality, other times with a high-powered microscope dissecting moments into infinitesimal units of meaning that jives with my worldview, never satisfied with a moment that feels stagnant and juiceless.
On the other hand, the search itself keeps me from experiencing and appreciating what is right in front of me. Noticing the cheeky sparkle in my children’s eyes when I drop them off at school, or the sweet music I hear when I tap on the keyboard with my two index fingers as I write these words. There is a constant undulation between wanting more and being in a state of gratitude for what I have. Is this okay? When I surrender to the movement of these two forces in my life, whichever one shows up, everything feels easier. Did Gandhi muster up the courage to forge ahead or did he just say "yes" to the force that said it’s time to move?
The Superman Effect continues to be an experiment, an exploration into life’s mysteries. The journey of remembering who we really are has no end. I don’t have answers today. Besides, questions are much more fun!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Charles Darwin and The Origin of Superman
Charles Darwin- The Beagle Expedition- 1831-1836. Henslow wrote: Don’t put on any doubts or fears about your disqualifications, for I assure you that I think you are the very man they are in search of; so conceive yourself to be tapped on the shoulder by your bum-bailiff and affectionate friend…”
Charles Darwin’s study of South American fossils and of the unique bird life of the Galapagos Islands, together with the realization that all living things were interdependent turned his thoughts to evolution. The moment for Charles Darwin lasted 5 years. But hey, with an evolutionary process spanning billions of years, Charles Darwin is entitled to a 5-year moment!
From The Autobiography of Charles Darwin- Collins, St. James Place, London 1858
“I need not here refer to the events of the voyage—where we went and what we did—as I have given a sufficiently full account in my published Journal. The glories of the vegetation of the Tropics rise before my mind at the present time more vividly than anything else. Though the sense of sublimity, which the great deserts of Patagonia and the forest-clad mountains of Tierra del Fuego excited in me, has left an indelible impression on my mind. The sight of a naked savage in his native land is an event which can never be forgotten. Many of my excursions on horseback through wild countries, or in the boats, some of which lasted several weeks, were deeply interesting; their discomfort and some degree of danger were at that time hardly a drawback and none at all afterwards. I also reflect with high satisfaction on some of my scientific work, such as solving the problem of coral-islands, and making out the geological structure of certain islands, for instance, St. Helena. Nor must I pass over the discovery of the singular relations of the animals and plants inhabiting the several islands of the Galapagos archipelago, and of all of them to the inhabitants of South America."
“The voyage of the Beagle has been by far the most important event in my life, and has determined my whole career. I have always felt that I owe to the voyage the first real training or education of my mind; I was led to attend closely to several branches of natural history, and thus my powers of observation were improved, though they were always fairly developed. As far as I can judge of myself I worked to the utmost during the voyage from the mere pleasure of investigation, and from my strong desire to add a few facts to the great mass of facts in natural science. But I was also ambitious to take a fair place among scientific men,—whether more ambitious or less so than most of my fellow-workers I can form no opinion.”
Charles Darwin’s study of South American fossils and of the unique bird life of the Galapagos Islands, together with the realization that all living things were interdependent turned his thoughts to evolution. The moment for Charles Darwin lasted 5 years. But hey, with an evolutionary process spanning billions of years, Charles Darwin is entitled to a 5-year moment!
From The Autobiography of Charles Darwin- Collins, St. James Place, London 1858
“I need not here refer to the events of the voyage—where we went and what we did—as I have given a sufficiently full account in my published Journal. The glories of the vegetation of the Tropics rise before my mind at the present time more vividly than anything else. Though the sense of sublimity, which the great deserts of Patagonia and the forest-clad mountains of Tierra del Fuego excited in me, has left an indelible impression on my mind. The sight of a naked savage in his native land is an event which can never be forgotten. Many of my excursions on horseback through wild countries, or in the boats, some of which lasted several weeks, were deeply interesting; their discomfort and some degree of danger were at that time hardly a drawback and none at all afterwards. I also reflect with high satisfaction on some of my scientific work, such as solving the problem of coral-islands, and making out the geological structure of certain islands, for instance, St. Helena. Nor must I pass over the discovery of the singular relations of the animals and plants inhabiting the several islands of the Galapagos archipelago, and of all of them to the inhabitants of South America."
“The voyage of the Beagle has been by far the most important event in my life, and has determined my whole career. I have always felt that I owe to the voyage the first real training or education of my mind; I was led to attend closely to several branches of natural history, and thus my powers of observation were improved, though they were always fairly developed. As far as I can judge of myself I worked to the utmost during the voyage from the mere pleasure of investigation, and from my strong desire to add a few facts to the great mass of facts in natural science. But I was also ambitious to take a fair place among scientific men,—whether more ambitious or less so than most of my fellow-workers I can form no opinion.”
Monday, August 30, 2010
Go Up Moses by Dennis Rodriguez
Did Moses have a Superman Effect moment?
Moses is revered as a great Hebrew prophet and deliverer of the Jews from Egyptian bondage. The most commonly known moment that literally had fireworks (in the form of a burning bush!) is not, in my opinion the moment that changed everything for Moses. The moment that I see as the beginning of Moses’ transformation is his decision, while an adopted grandson of Pharoah, to kill an Egyptian that was beating a Hebrew slave. Moses knew his true nature as a Hebrew and simply could not stand idly by and allow this injustice to go unpunished. I believe this is Moses’ acceptance of his destiny and there was no turning back.
Exodus 2: 11-15- New International Version
11 "One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. 12 Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. 13 The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, "Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?"
14 The man said, "Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?" Then Moses was afraid and thought, "What I did must have become known."
15 When Pharaoh heard of this, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in Midian, where he sat down by a well."
Where was Moses’ first stop after the moment everything changed? Metropolis? Heaven? The Promised Land? Moses first stop was instead to flee in fear to the WILDERNESS.
He would spend most of the rest of his life in the Wilderness, dry desert land with unquenchable doubts, fears, insecurities and just a mustard seed of faith to bring him home.
Moses questioned his own abilities. To paraphrase:
“Me? Are you kidding? LORD, do you NOT hear my stuttering problem? How am I supposed to inspire anyone? You got the wrong guy. The right guy I AM not.”
“Trust me. I’ll give you the words. You can always get into a Joint Venture with your brother. My resources are all around you!”
And then, after the moment everything changed for Israel came and the sea was parted, more WILDERNESS. This time for 40 years.
The complaints came fast and furious:
“You got us out of Egypt to have us die here in the desert? We would have been better off staying where we were. Sure we were captives, prisoners with no control over our lives, but at least we knew what we had!” What do we do now Moses? What do we do NOW?”
“I don’t know!”
This scene played itself over and over again for the rest of Moses’ life. Did he give up? Did the Israelites make it to the Promised Land? Was the impossible made possible?
We revere figures like Moses as great leaders that overcame insurmountable external odds and mythologize their ability to fearlessly press on. Yet, a closer look gives us examples, time and time again of internal doubt, uncertainty, spiritual dryness, impatience, lack of faith and endless hikes up a mountain to find a solitary place to cry for help.
Like the Israelites, I have countless times complained to my Source. “You led me to this new life only to lose inspiration, to lack motivation to press on. It would have been better had I stayed in my old ways. Keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself, controlling how much love I give and receive. At least I knew what I had!”
Still, I hear an inner voice that keeps me going. “Trust me. I’ll give you the words. My resources are all around you!”
Moses is revered as a great Hebrew prophet and deliverer of the Jews from Egyptian bondage. The most commonly known moment that literally had fireworks (in the form of a burning bush!) is not, in my opinion the moment that changed everything for Moses. The moment that I see as the beginning of Moses’ transformation is his decision, while an adopted grandson of Pharoah, to kill an Egyptian that was beating a Hebrew slave. Moses knew his true nature as a Hebrew and simply could not stand idly by and allow this injustice to go unpunished. I believe this is Moses’ acceptance of his destiny and there was no turning back.
Exodus 2: 11-15- New International Version
11 "One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. 12 Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. 13 The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, "Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?"
14 The man said, "Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?" Then Moses was afraid and thought, "What I did must have become known."
15 When Pharaoh heard of this, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in Midian, where he sat down by a well."
Where was Moses’ first stop after the moment everything changed? Metropolis? Heaven? The Promised Land? Moses first stop was instead to flee in fear to the WILDERNESS.
He would spend most of the rest of his life in the Wilderness, dry desert land with unquenchable doubts, fears, insecurities and just a mustard seed of faith to bring him home.
Moses questioned his own abilities. To paraphrase:
“Me? Are you kidding? LORD, do you NOT hear my stuttering problem? How am I supposed to inspire anyone? You got the wrong guy. The right guy I AM not.”
“Trust me. I’ll give you the words. You can always get into a Joint Venture with your brother. My resources are all around you!”
And then, after the moment everything changed for Israel came and the sea was parted, more WILDERNESS. This time for 40 years.
The complaints came fast and furious:
“You got us out of Egypt to have us die here in the desert? We would have been better off staying where we were. Sure we were captives, prisoners with no control over our lives, but at least we knew what we had!” What do we do now Moses? What do we do NOW?”
“I don’t know!”
This scene played itself over and over again for the rest of Moses’ life. Did he give up? Did the Israelites make it to the Promised Land? Was the impossible made possible?
We revere figures like Moses as great leaders that overcame insurmountable external odds and mythologize their ability to fearlessly press on. Yet, a closer look gives us examples, time and time again of internal doubt, uncertainty, spiritual dryness, impatience, lack of faith and endless hikes up a mountain to find a solitary place to cry for help.
Like the Israelites, I have countless times complained to my Source. “You led me to this new life only to lose inspiration, to lack motivation to press on. It would have been better had I stayed in my old ways. Keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself, controlling how much love I give and receive. At least I knew what I had!”
Still, I hear an inner voice that keeps me going. “Trust me. I’ll give you the words. My resources are all around you!”
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Magic IF
In the early 1900’s, playwright, actor, director and administrator at the Moscow Art Theatre, Constantin Stanislavski wrote the trilogy that would become the basis for actor training programs and for the development of techniques used by Dustin Hoffman, Robert Deniro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando and millions of “method” actors for the next 100 years. His three volumes were aptly titled An Actor Prepares, Building a Character and Creating a Role. Stanislavski’s goal was to develop a system that would consciously harness the powers that were thought to be uncontrollable- Mainly that of emotional states and inspiration.
Prepare, Build and Create. Was Stanislavski a precursor to the new thought manifesters of today?
Stanisalvski would tell his fellow actors “Believe in the possibility of events.”
Stanislavski had a name for the process of imagining what an actor would do in a character’s position- The Magic IF.
The “magic If” transforms the character’s [soul’s] objectives into yours. You determine what someone in that expansive situation might feel, and you present that to your spectators. You embrace a supposition and in that embrace, you start to spontaneously feel the motivations of the character. You start to think the character’s [soul’s] thoughts and when the curtain comes down, you call this process inspired acting.
In Conversations with God it is said that the fastest way to manifest a new way of being is to reverse the process of thought, word, and action. Act as if you are already the person you wish to become. Act as if you are certain of your destination. Act as if you are enjoying the journey every step of the way. When you act “as if” you then start to speak as if you are the epitome of your wildest dreams. The mind then has to grapple with a new reality driven by your actions and new thoughts follow suit.
Is this the same as “fake it till you make it”?
Yes, but there is nothing fake about your imagination coming alive with the wonderment and awe of possibilities. What’s fake is the story that limits the imagination to the moments that have been instead of the moments that can be.
When I act as if I am a successful author and spiritual life coach, I prepare by taking classes to hone my skills, I create by diving into new technologies from audio podcasts and membership websites, to social networking and downloadable e-Books. I build my character by showing up every day and sitting with the struggle and the flow, the disappointments and the celebrations, the ambiguity and the clarity. When I act as if, I don’t wait till someone tells me that the first page I have written of my book is good enough for me to continue, I write 200 pages without second guessing. I tweet every day and start a new blog. I post on Itunes and share my passions. When I act as if, sooner or later I am not acting, I am being.
So stay tuned in. This story has an ending you have to believe to see.
Prepare, Build and Create. Was Stanislavski a precursor to the new thought manifesters of today?
The Magic IF
Stanisalvski would tell his fellow actors “Believe in the possibility of events.”
Stanislavski had a name for the process of imagining what an actor would do in a character’s position- The Magic IF.
The “magic If” transforms the character’s [soul’s] objectives into yours. You determine what someone in that expansive situation might feel, and you present that to your spectators. You embrace a supposition and in that embrace, you start to spontaneously feel the motivations of the character. You start to think the character’s [soul’s] thoughts and when the curtain comes down, you call this process inspired acting.
In Conversations with God it is said that the fastest way to manifest a new way of being is to reverse the process of thought, word, and action. Act as if you are already the person you wish to become. Act as if you are certain of your destination. Act as if you are enjoying the journey every step of the way. When you act “as if” you then start to speak as if you are the epitome of your wildest dreams. The mind then has to grapple with a new reality driven by your actions and new thoughts follow suit.
Is this the same as “fake it till you make it”?
Yes, but there is nothing fake about your imagination coming alive with the wonderment and awe of possibilities. What’s fake is the story that limits the imagination to the moments that have been instead of the moments that can be.
When I act as if I am a successful author and spiritual life coach, I prepare by taking classes to hone my skills, I create by diving into new technologies from audio podcasts and membership websites, to social networking and downloadable e-Books. I build my character by showing up every day and sitting with the struggle and the flow, the disappointments and the celebrations, the ambiguity and the clarity. When I act as if, I don’t wait till someone tells me that the first page I have written of my book is good enough for me to continue, I write 200 pages without second guessing. I tweet every day and start a new blog. I post on Itunes and share my passions. When I act as if, sooner or later I am not acting, I am being.
So stay tuned in. This story has an ending you have to believe to see.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Down for the Six Day Count!
I took me a total of six days to get back to writing. What a week. I don’t think I did too shabby. Considering how much pain I went through once I found out that I was not to be in the top 25 of The Next Top Spiritual Author competition. So why did it hurt so much? Well, I went for it full throttle. I did not shrink into an acceptable and safe size when dreaming of the possibilities. I saw the day that I would accept the award, looking out into the audience at my gleaming children, weeping wife, friends who had traveled hundreds of miles to applaud my efforts and surprisingly enough Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, Marrianne Williamson and a host of spiritual old-timers prepared to pass on the mantle over to me. I saw my teachers and mentors: Christian Pankhurst, Karen Coffey, Lee Cook and Trevor Hart. I gave a speech that would have made Obama shout out- Damn, THAT was good! The interviews were endless, but so were the inspired words released from my mouth. I was moved to tears, I did not know whether to stand in glory or kneel in humility. I saw all my dreams coming true- The new house in Washington Park, the second home in Victoria, BC, the second car, the book signings, international rendezvous, and more interviews. It all came to me. All I needed to do was allow, receive, smile and sing. The grueling work of self-marketing, of believing before seeing, of overcoming misperceptions was over. It was time to reap what I had sowed. Then came the news. I was not asked to get up on stage. I was not even mentioned. I did not exist. I was standing nowhere.
Monday, July 5, 2010
I FEEL in this Moment!
In 12 hours I will finally know. How do I feel in this moment? Alive! I have not judged any feelings as good or bad. Today I have had knots in my stomach and a heart pounding with excitement. I have felt terrified about how I would feel the moment after and have jammed to tunes on my Ipod- Donna’s “I will Survive”, Frank’s “My Way” and MJ’s “Man in the Mirror”. I felt “on” with inspiration when coaching a friend of mine next to her two Labs.
So tomorrow, if my name is mentioned, I will be so happy I will feel like weeping. I will be so nervous I will feel like vomiting. This is living- The good, the bad and the ugly. I feel it all and it is all good. This is what I have desired more than anything- to feel alive before there was proof that I am. To believe before seeing, to enjoy longing for longing’s sake. For the first time in my life I feel…I feel…proud of myself.
So tomorrow, if my name is mentioned, I will be so happy I will feel like weeping. I will be so nervous I will feel like vomiting. This is living- The good, the bad and the ugly. I feel it all and it is all good. This is what I have desired more than anything- to feel alive before there was proof that I am. To believe before seeing, to enjoy longing for longing’s sake. For the first time in my life I feel…I feel…proud of myself.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Opening Night
Opening Night is just two days away. When I was an actor, I dreaded as well as looked forward to opening night. I dreaded it because rarely did we seem ready a few days before the curtains went up. There seemed to be no such thing as a smooth dress rehearsal and there was the fear that the show would be an unmitigated disaster. Yet, there was an appointed date and time for the start of the first show. We could not postpone opening night. Patrons had bought their tickets and eagerly expected us to show up. Having taken their assigned seats, it was time for us to fully feel on demand. We had to entertain, thrill and earn our applause. What were we to think when two days before the first line was delivered in front of an audience, the lights malfunctioned, the music was mis-cued, the dresses did not all fit, the rhythm and pace was all off and lines we still being adlibbed?
I looked forward to it because time and time again, a miracle would occur. Dionysus, the god of the theatre would shine down on us at just the right time and everything would fall into place. Just when it seemed like there was no hope for a stellar opening night, inspiration makes its grand entrance. The visitation brought instant exhilaration and joy to performers and observers alike.
So in just two days, the curtains will rise and 271 authors will sit in their seats to watch 25 get up and take the stage. The 271 have been rehearsing this moment for weeks. I am one of them. Today, I feel like I have had a horrid dress rehearsal. I am afraid of not being chosen to get up and take the stage. The actor’s nightmare is well-known. The actor get’s up to start a monologue in front of the audience only to go blank, forgetting what his next line is and realizes that he is naked. Can I stand naked after the 25 are announced? If I am one of the chosen few, will I fully step into the moment, and know what to say next to my fans, to the creators of the competition, to my family? If I am not one of them, can I show up naked and exposed with my true feelings revealed to those that care? Or will I start spinning as fast as I possibly can to save face, amidst feelings of failure?
I have never experienced a disastrous opening night and I am not about to start now. All I can do is wait and trust that the old Muse of Fire, Dionysus, of which Dennis is derived, will make his appearance perfectly on cue.
“O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention,
A kingdom for a stage, princes to act
And monarchs to behold the swelling scene!”
-Start of the Prologue to Henry V
I looked forward to it because time and time again, a miracle would occur. Dionysus, the god of the theatre would shine down on us at just the right time and everything would fall into place. Just when it seemed like there was no hope for a stellar opening night, inspiration makes its grand entrance. The visitation brought instant exhilaration and joy to performers and observers alike.
So in just two days, the curtains will rise and 271 authors will sit in their seats to watch 25 get up and take the stage. The 271 have been rehearsing this moment for weeks. I am one of them. Today, I feel like I have had a horrid dress rehearsal. I am afraid of not being chosen to get up and take the stage. The actor’s nightmare is well-known. The actor get’s up to start a monologue in front of the audience only to go blank, forgetting what his next line is and realizes that he is naked. Can I stand naked after the 25 are announced? If I am one of the chosen few, will I fully step into the moment, and know what to say next to my fans, to the creators of the competition, to my family? If I am not one of them, can I show up naked and exposed with my true feelings revealed to those that care? Or will I start spinning as fast as I possibly can to save face, amidst feelings of failure?
I have never experienced a disastrous opening night and I am not about to start now. All I can do is wait and trust that the old Muse of Fire, Dionysus, of which Dennis is derived, will make his appearance perfectly on cue.
“O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend
The brightest heaven of invention,
A kingdom for a stage, princes to act
And monarchs to behold the swelling scene!”
-Start of the Prologue to Henry V
Saturday, July 3, 2010
The Peace of God
Is the tide turning away from fear or towards it? There is a wonderful line at the beginning of A Course in Miracles: “Nothing real can be threatened.” What this tells me is that the converse is also true. Anything that is threatened is not real. So when we look at our lives, my personal life for example- I see that I only have about one month left before my savings are depleted. There is not enough money coming in to pay the mortgage, the credit card debt or the babysitter. If I sit with this reality long enough then the fear becomes bone-chilling and incapacitating. And yet, I see this time as a great test of trust. CNN is telling me we are at the precipice of a double-dip recession. Scientist are warning that the level of methane gas in the Gulf is so high that if there was a seismic gas explosion, it would lead to a tsunami that could inundate the gulf states killing 40 million and sending this great country into an economic collapse. The fear I write about is affecting everyone even if it is not consciously felt. We are protecting ourselves every second of the day. We feel irritated by the slightest annoyance, we distract ourselves from feeling the death of marine life, we ignore the signs that tell us now is the time to ask, “how can I help” and we instead recoil, retreat and re-double our efforts at a busy life.
What if we took this time as an opportunity to ask a different set of questions? What if I opened up to the part of me that is afraid and uncertain? What if I acted in spite of my fear? What if I believed that I am not my body and that Mother Earth knows how to get back into balance? How can I help her? I am writing this for many reasons. They are the thoughts that I am having on the eve of Independence Day. When a group of ill-equipped men and women risked everything to act in spite of fear. I am also writing this to show you that if I win the competition, there was a time, not in the distant past where I, like you felt afraid. I just decided to ask different questions.
"Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God."- A Course in Miracles
What if we took this time as an opportunity to ask a different set of questions? What if I opened up to the part of me that is afraid and uncertain? What if I acted in spite of my fear? What if I believed that I am not my body and that Mother Earth knows how to get back into balance? How can I help her? I am writing this for many reasons. They are the thoughts that I am having on the eve of Independence Day. When a group of ill-equipped men and women risked everything to act in spite of fear. I am also writing this to show you that if I win the competition, there was a time, not in the distant past where I, like you felt afraid. I just decided to ask different questions.
"Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God."- A Course in Miracles
Friday, July 2, 2010
Uncertainty
I can’t help but wonder, what is my true purpose? The decision was made to postpone the announcement of who will advance in the competition until after the 4th of July holiday. The announcement will be made on July 6th at 9am PST. A dramatic conference call is the medium of choice. 271 authors will cram a crowded conference line to hear the names of the chosen 25. Is this really what I am here to do? Go public with my message or am I of more help sitting alone in a dark room praying for the healing of souls? At this moment, I honestly do not know and so am open to serving in either capacity. God knows how I am most useful. My life has had purpose all along and it will continue to do so. The trick is can I live as if I know this and enjoy the process. I have lots of questions today. These are uncertain times. I still believe that an open heart is the anti-dote to a fearful existence. So I am allowing myself to feel the ambiguity of it all without judging it as good or bad. Next week will reveal a whole new set of feelings. My purpose is clear: to feel fully whatever comes my way without judgment and experience the inherent joy of un-resisted emotions. There is no pain in a feeling that is experienced with compassion.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Coming Shift
A shift is coming. It is both internal and external. It is affecting every living thing and at its core, is the awakening of the heart. Before the heart can open, fear must be confronted. It is not just the fear of the populace who vibrate at a lower frequency, but the collective fear of the planet. This fear does not discriminate between the masses and the light workers who have been on the conscious path. Those of us who see ourselves as having learned a thing or two about the spiritual journey but have never been fully tested with an unimaginable and existential challenge. Spiritual leaders are congregating all over the world to address the crisis in the gulf. This time, the crisis it is not at the hands of a few power hungry dictators calling for the destruction of the west and a return of the Imam Mahdi. Oil is once again at the center of the coming storm, but the crisis is not thousands of miles away in a desert once home to Nebuchadnezzar. This crisis in the Gulf is in our own backyard. We are not occupiers of this Gulf. This Gulf belongs to US. The challenge is not new. The challenge is always the same. Can we keep a compassionate and open heart through the shock and awe of what is to come? We ought to all work towards this common goal, first within our immediate circle and then in every possible opportunity. The awakening heart will seal up the fear and bind it for 1000 years 30,000 feet beneath the earth.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Bigger Lesson
The bigger lesson. What if I don’t advance? Will this be a fatal blow to my dreams? I know most would tell me that it shouldn’t be. To keep on movin, don’t stop. How long can I keep myself up? I do accept whatever happens as God’s will. It is what it is. But I have to admit, I have not been focused on getting out of the competition, so I have no idea how I will feel or what I will do if I don’t advance. I will allow myself to feel. This much I know. I will look into the eyes of my children and say “Daddy went for it. He did not sit back and let an unfulfilled existence determine his emotional state.” Okay, I may not put it THAT dramatically. They will see sadness and disappointment in my eyes and I will see it in theirs. That is enough for the moment. From this present moment awareness, I will ask, what do I want now? An answer will emerge. Perhaps not right away, perhaps the next day, weeks or months later. A newly minted desire will make itself known and I will start this process all over again…as if for the very first time.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Oh NO! I Forgot to Remember!
Yes, I had a meltdown yesterday. Sometimes it's important to let the reptilian shadow side take space and let you know how it feels. I have had a pattern before relief comes, of freaking out right till the very end and then judging my lack of trust when things end up working out just fine. I have gone from telling myself "Dennis, break the pattern and find joy before you see heaven." to my new approach- "Be with what is. The next moment has no relation to this one. Freak out now, enjoy now. Judge or don't judge, regret or don't regret. It's all okay. Growth is not linear. The phrase, “If I knew then what I know now.." is an illusion. You forgot and in that moment, you could not remember. You remember now and in this moment, you cannot forget." So join me in celebrating the success of this moment. You deserve to feel good all the time.
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Desire to be Unaware
I can barely muster up the energy to type. I am so tired of stretching myself. I want to crawl under a rock. I want to tell all the experts deciding my fate “I’ve done enough. Take it or leave it. I’m not going to live my life trying to meet others expectations or constantly trying to expand and grow. I’m done! I know I have tried to be authentic and to write from my heart. I know how much courage it took to do what I did. If it is not good enough in your eyes, then so be it. Don’t you see? I am crying out for rest. I have done enough. I want to stop all my classes. I don’t want to have a membership website. I don’t want to create videos. I don’t need 1000 facebook fans. I don’t need my book published. I question every conversation I am having. Did they like me? Did I say too much? Not enough? Why did I send him that? What do I want? At this moment, I want to be unaware. I don’t want to see myself. Will I regret sharing this tomorrow? Maybe. Oh well.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Human Experience
Open your heart. Our soul longs for a fully human experience. How do I open my heart when it loves me too much to let go of the role of protector? Does not matter. I have no choice. An open heart is my soul’s longing. What am I afraid of? I fear the love of God. Is it too much light shone directly into a darkened soul? Is my soul truly dark or is it a trick of the ego that keeps us thinking we are separate from the light. If your eyes are closed can you tell whether the light is on? Open your heart and let in love. Receive joy and you will have something to give. A merciful father waits patiently for the lesson to be learned. It does not condemn his child but waits with open arms until the child says “Help me, I need you.”
“Thy will be done. As above, so below.” I have no choice but to surrender to God’s will. I have done all I could. I have fought the good fight. Now it is time to let go and let God. The angels are telling me that it is written. My fate is sealed. I will get my message out to millions. My ego is telling me who do I think I am? I am not special and even if I was, I am bound to screw it up- to fold under pressure.” What is my heart saying? “Ask for help.”
“Thy will be done. As above, so below.” I have no choice but to surrender to God’s will. I have done all I could. I have fought the good fight. Now it is time to let go and let God. The angels are telling me that it is written. My fate is sealed. I will get my message out to millions. My ego is telling me who do I think I am? I am not special and even if I was, I am bound to screw it up- to fold under pressure.” What is my heart saying? “Ask for help.”
Saturday, June 26, 2010
What Side Is My Soul On?
Ever feel conflicted? I have asked the question: What side is my soul on? Is it on the side of the man who wants to live a quiet existence, spending precious moments with family and friends that always feel safe? Or is it on the side of the man, whose time has come to go out into the world and share his message of trust with millions, facing fears of potential pariahs along the way? I don’t know the answer and so I sit with the ambiguity. If I don’t accept that at this moment in time, it is not for me to know my heart’s longing then all I seem to create is a fighter whose tired of throwing punches at nothing. My heart’s longing wants to surprise me. It is not expecting me to figure it out or to make a choice but to relax and get out of the way. So right now, it feels good to imagine a quiet life, out in the gardens of beautiful British Columbia, speaking with a pillow talking whisper to all those I come in contact with. It also feels good to visualize standing in front of my mentors and teachers accepting the award for The Next Top Spiritual Life Coach and giving the speech of my life. Stay tuned. My soul may very well have something to say in just 2 days.
Friday, June 25, 2010
To Dare or Not to Dare?
To dare or not to dare? That is my question. I have advised many in the past year that they should dare to be disappointed. What I mean is throw away the mental and emotional safety nets when reaching for the stars and allow yourself to get your hopes up, to dream big, to enjoy the longing for a more passion-filled life without needing to see any proof of its existence. Don’t be afraid of failure or rejection or that you will “jinx it” if you speak to others with excitement in your voice about your deepest desires. If you are disappointed that things did not go as planned then not only will you end up higher then where you started, you would have enjoyed the moments in between which is where the juice of life is hiding. No one can guarantee a lasting emotional state, but you can choose to enjoy every moment.
HOWEVER…
At this moment in time, 3 days before public voting ends and the fate of 271 authors in the competition is sealed, I am fighting the good fight with my own words. I want a mental safety net! What if I don’t advance? What then? Am I prepared to handle that level of rejection after so many of my friends and family are rooting for me to succeed? I am not ready to be taken out of the competition. Yet I also don’t know if I would be able to continue pursuing a career in writing after being dropped. Now I know that I am supposed to say that I will continue come what may, but I would be speaking from an uncertain place AKA lying to myself and to you if I said that.
The truth is I have no idea how I will feel in 3 days. I simply do not know. Since I don’t know, then I will continue to dream super-big. At least for now. That is all I know. That this moment I feel good about wanting to stay in the competition. The next moment is not here yet so why worry about whether it contains a mental safety net. This moment I choose to dare. That is my answer.
HOWEVER…
At this moment in time, 3 days before public voting ends and the fate of 271 authors in the competition is sealed, I am fighting the good fight with my own words. I want a mental safety net! What if I don’t advance? What then? Am I prepared to handle that level of rejection after so many of my friends and family are rooting for me to succeed? I am not ready to be taken out of the competition. Yet I also don’t know if I would be able to continue pursuing a career in writing after being dropped. Now I know that I am supposed to say that I will continue come what may, but I would be speaking from an uncertain place AKA lying to myself and to you if I said that.
The truth is I have no idea how I will feel in 3 days. I simply do not know. Since I don’t know, then I will continue to dream super-big. At least for now. That is all I know. That this moment I feel good about wanting to stay in the competition. The next moment is not here yet so why worry about whether it contains a mental safety net. This moment I choose to dare. That is my answer.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
It All Matters!
With four days till the end of voting in Round 2 of the competition, I cannot contain my excitement or anticipation for what I will learn come next week. Am I in or out? Does it matter? Well sure it does. I don’t want this specific ride to end. I am so proud of how I have approached this competition. Every day has had successful moments. Even when I did nothing involving the competition, I know that my mind and heart were integrating and digesting life experiences that will strengthen my desire to reach millions. Yet I have stayed focused on the daily process and not the destination. How I got into the competition just seemed so synchronistically perfect. To have received an invitation to join a competition that would ultimately involve 2800 authors one week after completing a book about living my life’s purpose was incredibly timely. Do I have to win? If I win, then the answer was yes. If I don’t win, then the answer was no. I’m not trying to be cheeky as my late mother-in-law used to say. I truly believe that reality is perfect and is synonymous with God’s will. If we want to end suffering then accept God’s will. If you have no concept of God, then accept what is. Accept reality. It is our resistance to what is- what we are feeling in the moment, what we are experiencing in the moment, what we want in the moment that causes pain and suffering. Trust that if change is God’s will, you will be moved to be the catalyst for change at just the right time.
“But Dennis, wouldn’t it be better if I did not want anything?”
Relinquishing all desire is not a conscious process. We cannot force ourselves to not want anything. It is through acceptance of everything including the relationship of our current emotional state and our desire for change that leads to an energized and passion-filled life. Here is my take on the effects of Adam and Eve’s disobedience or what some call the origin of sin. When we do not honor and fully embrace who we are in the moment, then we are disobeying God. This disobedience causes the veil between heaven and earth to thicken, and the result is a sense of separation from love. The heart closes and just like Adam and Eve, when they became aware that they were naked, we become ashamed of our own truth. We hide with as many proverbial fig leaves as we can find. How do we get back to paradise? Obey God by fully accepting who we are without judgment. When we don’t accept God’s will, we suffer. When we accept God’s will, we are free.
So, is it God’s will that I win the competition? I want to believe that it is, but in the end, I will feel joyous either way. I might be sad and depressed for a while if I don’t win. If so, I will accept these feelings as God’s will. I will accept what is and what is will bring me back to love.
“But Dennis, wouldn’t it be better if I did not want anything?”
Relinquishing all desire is not a conscious process. We cannot force ourselves to not want anything. It is through acceptance of everything including the relationship of our current emotional state and our desire for change that leads to an energized and passion-filled life. Here is my take on the effects of Adam and Eve’s disobedience or what some call the origin of sin. When we do not honor and fully embrace who we are in the moment, then we are disobeying God. This disobedience causes the veil between heaven and earth to thicken, and the result is a sense of separation from love. The heart closes and just like Adam and Eve, when they became aware that they were naked, we become ashamed of our own truth. We hide with as many proverbial fig leaves as we can find. How do we get back to paradise? Obey God by fully accepting who we are without judgment. When we don’t accept God’s will, we suffer. When we accept God’s will, we are free.
So, is it God’s will that I win the competition? I want to believe that it is, but in the end, I will feel joyous either way. I might be sad and depressed for a while if I don’t win. If so, I will accept these feelings as God’s will. I will accept what is and what is will bring me back to love.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Compelled to follow WHAT?
I just finished tweeting! What a weird vernacular we are developing. I blogged, then tweeted after typing on a Wall? I want to create buzz about my book so I am tweeting selected lines from the text. “I am compelled to follow my heart..” To some this might seem like a no brainer. “Of course he’s compelled to follow his heart. That’s what you are supposed to do when you are a spiritual messenger.” Yet, this is the hardest thing I could possibly do. I have always been led by my head. I wanted to get a counseling degree and chose an MBA instead. Head-led decision. I went to school for acting but was better at analyzing Shakespearean verse than connecting with the feelings of a tragic character. Head-led skill. I am the one in the family that takes care of finance and budgeting , making sure all the bills are paid on time using head-ache inducing worry as my fuel while my wife patiently keeps the emotional safety zone of our home intact.
Everything changed on May 17, 2009. I felt so connected to my heart when I wrote the words that would become the title of my first book- “The Superman Effect”. I did not want to ever again make a decision without consulting my heart. I intuitively knew that this new approach would carry its share of pain. I had done such a fantastic job ignoring my inner longings and now I was compelled to follow them without reservation through the deep caverns of an unsettling past and an uncertain future. It did not take me long before realizing that I was not called to write about what I know. I was called to write about how I feel: Stuck, afraid, guilty, insecure, fake, powerless, and doubtful. Could I learn to be okay with the parts of me that vibrate at lower frequencies? Could these feelings possibly be my doorway to finding joy, trust, freedom, certainty, and authentic power? Could acknowledging these feelings to the world be the secret to my success? My head was saying “you have GOT to be kidding!” My heart was saying “you have GOT to give it a try.” It has been a year not without its share of painful experiences. What I have come to learn however, is that the pain is associated not to any icky feelings but to my judgments of any feeling as icky. The more I sat with sadness, anger, guilt, resentment, fear and insecurity without labeling them as good or bad, the greater my capacity to open my heart and let in joy. As one of my teacher’s likes to put it, “it all becomes juicy and even sadness starts to feel good.”
So this newfound compulsion to follow my heart is not a passing fad. It is now my way of life and it has served as the main catalyst to the moment when everything changes.
Everything changed on May 17, 2009. I felt so connected to my heart when I wrote the words that would become the title of my first book- “The Superman Effect”. I did not want to ever again make a decision without consulting my heart. I intuitively knew that this new approach would carry its share of pain. I had done such a fantastic job ignoring my inner longings and now I was compelled to follow them without reservation through the deep caverns of an unsettling past and an uncertain future. It did not take me long before realizing that I was not called to write about what I know. I was called to write about how I feel: Stuck, afraid, guilty, insecure, fake, powerless, and doubtful. Could I learn to be okay with the parts of me that vibrate at lower frequencies? Could these feelings possibly be my doorway to finding joy, trust, freedom, certainty, and authentic power? Could acknowledging these feelings to the world be the secret to my success? My head was saying “you have GOT to be kidding!” My heart was saying “you have GOT to give it a try.” It has been a year not without its share of painful experiences. What I have come to learn however, is that the pain is associated not to any icky feelings but to my judgments of any feeling as icky. The more I sat with sadness, anger, guilt, resentment, fear and insecurity without labeling them as good or bad, the greater my capacity to open my heart and let in joy. As one of my teacher’s likes to put it, “it all becomes juicy and even sadness starts to feel good.”
So this newfound compulsion to follow my heart is not a passing fad. It is now my way of life and it has served as the main catalyst to the moment when everything changes.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Things are not always as they appear.
Things are not always as they appear.
Without belief in this statement, fear would have crippled me a long time ago. Yet every day I am faced with an opportunity to put the certainty of my belief that things are not always as they appear to the test. When The Next Top Spiritual Author competition got underway, I had to face the startling realization that I had a small social network and virtually no fan base as a writer. I had elected, again because of fear of criticism and judgment, to take down the “Follower” function on Blogger.com and had told very few people I was writing until after I had resigned my position at the university. So the grim reality was that having spent years in a cocoon of my own making, I now had to go out into the world as a spiritual messenger, if I were to stand a chance at advancing in the competition. I had to call on support from people I had not spoken with in years. Some were happy to hear from me. Most completely ignored my overtures. But I kept at it. The deed was done. I had quit my job and I did not want to have a choice. I instant messaged some old friends on facebook. I called many. I emailed even more. A vast majority did not respond. Were they waiting to see if I could make a go of it without their support? Were they afraid of sticking their neck out for me, fearing that I was in for a certain flat fall on my face.?
“Things are not always as they appear.”
How do I know that people are not just too busy to stop and read my email, or that they don’t have a good reason for delaying a response. Some might be thinking, “I want to connect with Dennis, but he sent me his blog weeks ago and I haven’t gotten to it. What would he think of ME?” The mind plays some funny games and so I rested in the knowledge that things are not always as they appear. It’s not all about me.
I was relentless in my outreach and then a funny thing started to happen. I was making real connections! It started to feel so good to reconnect with those that responded. Well that part felt great, and yet..I only had about 30 or so facebook fans after 2 weeks of pounding the pavement. Every other poster that I put up at a coffee shop was taken down within a week. I averaged less than five responses to my marketing emails about the competition. Was I falling flat on my face?
“Things are not always as they appear.”
After four weeks in the competition, an announcement was made about who were the top 150 vote getters out of 2800 authors. I was on the list! “How could that be? I thought my efforts were yielding little results.” I made it to the second round and evidence of a successful run at advancing began to emerge. I stand here today, only 6 days before I find out whether I am one of 25 authors to advance, with complete satisfaction. Not because of my chances of winning this thing, but because of how I have conducted myself throughout the process. I have faced an incessant, doubt-ridden reality and trusted in a greater order behind the veil. I have set aside rejection and disappointment masquerading as truth and kept at it until the real truth replaces its worthy opponent called appearance.
“We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all”- Kalu Rinpoche
Without belief in this statement, fear would have crippled me a long time ago. Yet every day I am faced with an opportunity to put the certainty of my belief that things are not always as they appear to the test. When The Next Top Spiritual Author competition got underway, I had to face the startling realization that I had a small social network and virtually no fan base as a writer. I had elected, again because of fear of criticism and judgment, to take down the “Follower” function on Blogger.com and had told very few people I was writing until after I had resigned my position at the university. So the grim reality was that having spent years in a cocoon of my own making, I now had to go out into the world as a spiritual messenger, if I were to stand a chance at advancing in the competition. I had to call on support from people I had not spoken with in years. Some were happy to hear from me. Most completely ignored my overtures. But I kept at it. The deed was done. I had quit my job and I did not want to have a choice. I instant messaged some old friends on facebook. I called many. I emailed even more. A vast majority did not respond. Were they waiting to see if I could make a go of it without their support? Were they afraid of sticking their neck out for me, fearing that I was in for a certain flat fall on my face.?
“Things are not always as they appear.”
How do I know that people are not just too busy to stop and read my email, or that they don’t have a good reason for delaying a response. Some might be thinking, “I want to connect with Dennis, but he sent me his blog weeks ago and I haven’t gotten to it. What would he think of ME?” The mind plays some funny games and so I rested in the knowledge that things are not always as they appear. It’s not all about me.
I was relentless in my outreach and then a funny thing started to happen. I was making real connections! It started to feel so good to reconnect with those that responded. Well that part felt great, and yet..I only had about 30 or so facebook fans after 2 weeks of pounding the pavement. Every other poster that I put up at a coffee shop was taken down within a week. I averaged less than five responses to my marketing emails about the competition. Was I falling flat on my face?
“Things are not always as they appear.”
After four weeks in the competition, an announcement was made about who were the top 150 vote getters out of 2800 authors. I was on the list! “How could that be? I thought my efforts were yielding little results.” I made it to the second round and evidence of a successful run at advancing began to emerge. I stand here today, only 6 days before I find out whether I am one of 25 authors to advance, with complete satisfaction. Not because of my chances of winning this thing, but because of how I have conducted myself throughout the process. I have faced an incessant, doubt-ridden reality and trusted in a greater order behind the veil. I have set aside rejection and disappointment masquerading as truth and kept at it until the real truth replaces its worthy opponent called appearance.
“We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all”- Kalu Rinpoche
Monday, June 21, 2010
Certainty
About a month ago, I dreamt that I was flying. Not my typical hovering maneuver where I am not able to get more than six inches off the ground but full on soaring- high above the trees. I asked the question to myself: “How am I able to do this?
The answer: “Because you are certain that you can.”
I then thought to myself: “I am certain I can go higher.” And I did!
This dream taught me that energy flows in the direction of certainty. If you want to manifest anything in your life, be certain that it is what you want, that it is not only possible, but probable and that you deserve receiving it. Have no worry or doubt. Feel good about the desire as if you have already received it and it will be manifested. Certainty that my life as an author and intuitive life coach is the right one grows stronger with each passing day. Am I suggesting that we should ignore our doubts and fears, replacing them with an “I know I can!” mantra? Absolutely not. I have had doubts and fears about leaving a 9-5 work existence for over 10 years and my path was to acknowledge these feelings and try to uncover what is motivating them. What I am suggesting is to hold the vision and intention for however long it takes, of a time where doubt ceases to exist. Never give up this vision and one day, you will catch up with it. I am certain of it.
The answer: “Because you are certain that you can.”
I then thought to myself: “I am certain I can go higher.” And I did!
This dream taught me that energy flows in the direction of certainty. If you want to manifest anything in your life, be certain that it is what you want, that it is not only possible, but probable and that you deserve receiving it. Have no worry or doubt. Feel good about the desire as if you have already received it and it will be manifested. Certainty that my life as an author and intuitive life coach is the right one grows stronger with each passing day. Am I suggesting that we should ignore our doubts and fears, replacing them with an “I know I can!” mantra? Absolutely not. I have had doubts and fears about leaving a 9-5 work existence for over 10 years and my path was to acknowledge these feelings and try to uncover what is motivating them. What I am suggesting is to hold the vision and intention for however long it takes, of a time where doubt ceases to exist. Never give up this vision and one day, you will catch up with it. I am certain of it.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Children's Day!
Today is Father’s Day. My six year old daughter ponders: “There is Mother’s Day and there is Father’s Day. Why isn’t there such a thing as Children’s Day?” I’m stumped. I honestly don’t know why.
“Do you want to pick a day of the year for Children’s Day and we can get it started?” “
Not right now."
“Okay.”
We forget that a child’s challenges are just as hard as that of a parent. Children do not have a developed ego or past references to attempt to make sense of their experiences. Parents have too many references, many of which are from past experiences in childhood with immature conclusion drawn then that are still affecting us now.
As a parent, I have the three and six year old version of me ever present. Sometimes that’s a good thing. I see the tantrum and am able to witness them without unhealthy interference because I remember vividly my own. But when feelings come up that seem to not make much rational sense, I can’t help but blame my oppressive upbringing. I have discovered that there is another way to work on our feelings. This way is found not in past memories but in present awareness. After listening to an audio from last year’s Next Top Life Coach, I was moved to sign up right away for his home study program and for private mentoring. Why? Because his message was clear and simple:
“Connect with what you are in feeling in the moment. Out of this feeling, what is it that you want to feel better? From this better feeling state, is there an action that you are inspired to take?”
No lengthy pscho-analysis. No judgment of feelings being good or bad. Just feel and witness the divine therapist go to work. After a few weeks in the course, I quickly realized that this work was the most important game in town. I want to feel the juice of life. I want to experience freedom that is not tied to doing anything but is realized as our baseline nature. I want to open my heart more and more and feel safe to do so anywhere. I don’t want to shut down when uncomfortable feelings surface but embrace the struggle as my present vehicle for transformation. I also see it as an important component to my Intuitive life coaching business. I see my business as a blend of peak performance coaching, intuitive counseling and heart centered exploration. More importantly, I feel the desire to be real and authentic even though most of my thoughts and actions betray this longing.
“Do you want to pick a day of the year for Children’s Day and we can get it started?” “
Not right now."
“Okay.”
We forget that a child’s challenges are just as hard as that of a parent. Children do not have a developed ego or past references to attempt to make sense of their experiences. Parents have too many references, many of which are from past experiences in childhood with immature conclusion drawn then that are still affecting us now.
As a parent, I have the three and six year old version of me ever present. Sometimes that’s a good thing. I see the tantrum and am able to witness them without unhealthy interference because I remember vividly my own. But when feelings come up that seem to not make much rational sense, I can’t help but blame my oppressive upbringing. I have discovered that there is another way to work on our feelings. This way is found not in past memories but in present awareness. After listening to an audio from last year’s Next Top Life Coach, I was moved to sign up right away for his home study program and for private mentoring. Why? Because his message was clear and simple:
“Connect with what you are in feeling in the moment. Out of this feeling, what is it that you want to feel better? From this better feeling state, is there an action that you are inspired to take?”
No lengthy pscho-analysis. No judgment of feelings being good or bad. Just feel and witness the divine therapist go to work. After a few weeks in the course, I quickly realized that this work was the most important game in town. I want to feel the juice of life. I want to experience freedom that is not tied to doing anything but is realized as our baseline nature. I want to open my heart more and more and feel safe to do so anywhere. I don’t want to shut down when uncomfortable feelings surface but embrace the struggle as my present vehicle for transformation. I also see it as an important component to my Intuitive life coaching business. I see my business as a blend of peak performance coaching, intuitive counseling and heart centered exploration. More importantly, I feel the desire to be real and authentic even though most of my thoughts and actions betray this longing.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Connect
In case you are wondering how I made out in The Next Top Spiritual Author competition, well at the writing of this page, the jury is still out. There are 10 days left before the semi-final 25 authors are announced. The first round was a whirlwind of insecure activity. Over 2800 authors had to show their marketing stuff and motivate their base to vote for their book pitch. The pitch would be a 2-5 minute audio or video clip that would be listened or viewed through the competition’s website along with a book description. The top 10% of vote getters would advance to Round 2. I had a three-day late beginning since we were getting back from a vacation in Mexico when the starting bell rang. First order of business, connect with my friends. You would think in the age of facebook, twitter, and linkedIn, this would be an easy task. I sent an email to my contact list of about 250 friends and received three responses. Uh-oh.
I posted the audio pitch the first day you could. I just felt moved to do it right away. I told my daughters that daddy needed complete quiet for 10 minutes while I dialed a number provided by the competition and recorded my pitch. This was the first action I took that felt inspired. “You have the energy, the passion coursing through your veins. Why wait? Just do it.” So I did.
The second was creating a facebook page. I did not look to see if anyone had one going yet. I figured many must have since it was three days into the competition. I hear a small voice:
“Call it The Next Top Author”
“Okay.” It wasn’t taken yet. It was mine.
“Use a book cover with The Superman Effect instead of a profile picture of you.”
“Really? Alright, if you say so.”
So I created a facebook page called The Next Top Author and invited all my friends to join. A whopping two fans joined the page. Time for my first freak-out moment. “What have I done?” I felt immediate guilt since I am not the best at keeping in touch with my friends. Now I need them and it serves me right that they are ignoring me. I decided to focus on those that were supporting me instead of those that were MIA. A friend had taken it upon herself to create a flier and I went and plastered it all over North Denver. Another friend put a notice on the University that I had resigned my position’s intranet about me in the competition. She astutely left out the part about being a previous employee, and instead advertised “University alum Dennis Rodriguez is in The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition.” I called my three sisters and cried “HELP”. They came to the rescue. My sisters invited all their friends to join my facebook page. I’m up to 10 fans! I asked my invisible friends the question: How can I get more fans to join my page? People won’t join a page with 10 fans. I need to break the ice, get the ball rolling and any other figure of speech that will get me more fans.
“You need a facebook connector.”
“Yes! I need a facebook connector.”
I called my 15 year old nephew.
“How many of your classmates are on facebook?
“All of them.”
Can you get 20 friends to join my page?
“No problem.”
He came through and it got easier.
I started sending out emails from my yahoo account. “Just do it. It won’t be pretty yet, but there is plenty of time for pretty.” So I just did it.
So I did not do any “shoulds.” I did not concern myself with having a perfect audio or video pitch, a flashy book cover or snazzy emails. I just did what felt right not what I thought would look right. My wife and I did hit the road to pass out fliers and garner votes. Campaigning felt really good.
I was scheduled to attend an introductory Hakomi workshop in Boulder the weekend before the round 2 authors were to be announced. At the last minute my intuition told me to drop that plan and go to Boulder to write my book proposal instead. I spent 2 days in a hotel room. “Mr. Rodriguez. We have noticed that you have had a Do Not Disturb sign on your door for two days. Is everything alright?”
“Oh yes. I’m a writer, you see.” That also felt good.
Even with amateur looking marketing, I was informed that I had received enough votes to advance to the second round. I would be one of 271 authors submitting a book proposal for public voting and selection by a panel of experts.
When the time was right, an email came across my iphone and at the bottom it said “try Constant Contact for 30 days free” so I clicked on the link and within one hour I had created my first professional looking email with images and links. No problem. No forethought. No stress. Inspired action. I had an atrocious looking book cover for four weeks made from a word document. I finally thought, the time has come to get a better one. I called my best friend who is an illustrator and he created a beautiful book cover. No fuss. No muss. Inspired action.
We were encouraged to add a give back feature in round 1 so that voters can make themselves known to the author. I didn’t do it until the time came when I did in Round 2. I believe Round 2 has gone well. I have heard from many who have voted and I will hold a drawing for 12 free intuitive life coaching sessions right after Round 2 is announced. Stay tuned for the breaking news.
I posted the audio pitch the first day you could. I just felt moved to do it right away. I told my daughters that daddy needed complete quiet for 10 minutes while I dialed a number provided by the competition and recorded my pitch. This was the first action I took that felt inspired. “You have the energy, the passion coursing through your veins. Why wait? Just do it.” So I did.
The second was creating a facebook page. I did not look to see if anyone had one going yet. I figured many must have since it was three days into the competition. I hear a small voice:
“Call it The Next Top Author”
“Okay.” It wasn’t taken yet. It was mine.
“Use a book cover with The Superman Effect instead of a profile picture of you.”
“Really? Alright, if you say so.”
So I created a facebook page called The Next Top Author and invited all my friends to join. A whopping two fans joined the page. Time for my first freak-out moment. “What have I done?” I felt immediate guilt since I am not the best at keeping in touch with my friends. Now I need them and it serves me right that they are ignoring me. I decided to focus on those that were supporting me instead of those that were MIA. A friend had taken it upon herself to create a flier and I went and plastered it all over North Denver. Another friend put a notice on the University that I had resigned my position’s intranet about me in the competition. She astutely left out the part about being a previous employee, and instead advertised “University alum Dennis Rodriguez is in The Next Top Spiritual Author Competition.” I called my three sisters and cried “HELP”. They came to the rescue. My sisters invited all their friends to join my facebook page. I’m up to 10 fans! I asked my invisible friends the question: How can I get more fans to join my page? People won’t join a page with 10 fans. I need to break the ice, get the ball rolling and any other figure of speech that will get me more fans.
“You need a facebook connector.”
“Yes! I need a facebook connector.”
I called my 15 year old nephew.
“How many of your classmates are on facebook?
“All of them.”
Can you get 20 friends to join my page?
“No problem.”
He came through and it got easier.
I started sending out emails from my yahoo account. “Just do it. It won’t be pretty yet, but there is plenty of time for pretty.” So I just did it.
So I did not do any “shoulds.” I did not concern myself with having a perfect audio or video pitch, a flashy book cover or snazzy emails. I just did what felt right not what I thought would look right. My wife and I did hit the road to pass out fliers and garner votes. Campaigning felt really good.
I was scheduled to attend an introductory Hakomi workshop in Boulder the weekend before the round 2 authors were to be announced. At the last minute my intuition told me to drop that plan and go to Boulder to write my book proposal instead. I spent 2 days in a hotel room. “Mr. Rodriguez. We have noticed that you have had a Do Not Disturb sign on your door for two days. Is everything alright?”
“Oh yes. I’m a writer, you see.” That also felt good.
Even with amateur looking marketing, I was informed that I had received enough votes to advance to the second round. I would be one of 271 authors submitting a book proposal for public voting and selection by a panel of experts.
When the time was right, an email came across my iphone and at the bottom it said “try Constant Contact for 30 days free” so I clicked on the link and within one hour I had created my first professional looking email with images and links. No problem. No forethought. No stress. Inspired action. I had an atrocious looking book cover for four weeks made from a word document. I finally thought, the time has come to get a better one. I called my best friend who is an illustrator and he created a beautiful book cover. No fuss. No muss. Inspired action.
We were encouraged to add a give back feature in round 1 so that voters can make themselves known to the author. I didn’t do it until the time came when I did in Round 2. I believe Round 2 has gone well. I have heard from many who have voted and I will hold a drawing for 12 free intuitive life coaching sessions right after Round 2 is announced. Stay tuned for the breaking news.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I think I’m on to Something!
I think I’m on to something. A new way of moving through life in which I am no longer the servant of two masters- guilt and judgment. In many ways, these past four months have been an internal purgatory of my own making. Purgatory’s location: I feel bad about feeling bad. Should I be doing all I can to make more money? Should I invest in a better website with not just bells and whistles but gongs and trumpets that will increase my mailing lists from 300 to 300,000, my facebook page from 400 to 4 million? I still hear that peaceful voice whispering “there is another way- the path of inspired action.” The voice is not saying to me “don’t push yourself beyond your comfort zone, but enjoy the climb. Be okay with the pain, the struggle. Struggling with the struggle just makes it more painful. Being okay with what is begins to turn the tide.
Gandhi had said when he decided to call off a march that was headed to violence: “My commitment is to truth, not to consistency.” It is very likely that tomorrow I will be in push mode. I might feel guilty about being home with my two girls on a weekday to save on babysitting and pop in a kid’s movie while I get on the computer to feel productive. I will then, perhaps be reminded that there is another way. Perhaps. Yet I also hear the megaphonic voices of this age, insisting “there is only one way.”
I called my friend who I had not seen in a long time-
“How are you” I asked
“Staying busy man. Staying busy.”
I spent this morning having coffee and going for a walk with another good friend of mine who lost her husband to cancer last year. She has just a few days ago been reminded there is another way.
Running By Malanie Mclanahan
I used to run, run, run. I'd calculate exactly how long it would take me to get from home to the hospital to be there by my promised time. I'd figure out how many errands I could fit in on my way home from the hospital. I used to know that if we got up at 7am, took showers, flushed and hooked up his IV, got dressed, and made breakfast I could get to work by my first appointment. I used to run around the house on those emergency room days or nights, packing a bag, calling the doctor, the parents, the neighbors, exchanging oxygen tanks and then out the door to the ER where running would cease and we would have to wait, wait, wait. I ran in and out of the hospital room asking for more medication, more sheets, more kleenex. Some days or nights I ran myself ragged.
I used to run, before. Before the pain medication ran continuously through his veins. Before the chemo ran through his system to kill the cancer. I ran in a different way-as a half to a functioning, healthy whole. I ran every morning at 5am with Chester at my side. I ran out the door to get to work. I ran home to make dinner so it was ready for both of us after our long days. I ran errands, credit cards, and through the streets of Paris, San Francisco and Seattle. He ran, too. To work, home, and through those same streets with me, hand in hand. He ran a race with time. He ran side by side with courage. But then he couldn't run anymore and I had to run for two.
I am no longer running. But it is like being on a treadmill. I can't go from 15MPH at an incline and hit the stop button. It's a gradual process-to slow down, watch the heart rate drop, hear the breathing slow to a regular pace, walk. When I was running, the scenery was a blur. I focused on the Ipod music, whatever would help me persevere the running strain. Interactions became the hands on a clock. While walking, however, I have discovered that the scenery is actually very enjoyable. I can feel what makes a deep breath so exhilarating. Interactions have ceased and friendships and love instead have blossomed. I think I prefer the walking path, for now, knowing that I will never foresee the time when running might be necessary.
Gandhi had said when he decided to call off a march that was headed to violence: “My commitment is to truth, not to consistency.” It is very likely that tomorrow I will be in push mode. I might feel guilty about being home with my two girls on a weekday to save on babysitting and pop in a kid’s movie while I get on the computer to feel productive. I will then, perhaps be reminded that there is another way. Perhaps. Yet I also hear the megaphonic voices of this age, insisting “there is only one way.”
I called my friend who I had not seen in a long time-
“How are you” I asked
“Staying busy man. Staying busy.”
I spent this morning having coffee and going for a walk with another good friend of mine who lost her husband to cancer last year. She has just a few days ago been reminded there is another way.
Running By Malanie Mclanahan
I used to run, run, run. I'd calculate exactly how long it would take me to get from home to the hospital to be there by my promised time. I'd figure out how many errands I could fit in on my way home from the hospital. I used to know that if we got up at 7am, took showers, flushed and hooked up his IV, got dressed, and made breakfast I could get to work by my first appointment. I used to run around the house on those emergency room days or nights, packing a bag, calling the doctor, the parents, the neighbors, exchanging oxygen tanks and then out the door to the ER where running would cease and we would have to wait, wait, wait. I ran in and out of the hospital room asking for more medication, more sheets, more kleenex. Some days or nights I ran myself ragged.
I used to run, before. Before the pain medication ran continuously through his veins. Before the chemo ran through his system to kill the cancer. I ran in a different way-as a half to a functioning, healthy whole. I ran every morning at 5am with Chester at my side. I ran out the door to get to work. I ran home to make dinner so it was ready for both of us after our long days. I ran errands, credit cards, and through the streets of Paris, San Francisco and Seattle. He ran, too. To work, home, and through those same streets with me, hand in hand. He ran a race with time. He ran side by side with courage. But then he couldn't run anymore and I had to run for two.
I am no longer running. But it is like being on a treadmill. I can't go from 15MPH at an incline and hit the stop button. It's a gradual process-to slow down, watch the heart rate drop, hear the breathing slow to a regular pace, walk. When I was running, the scenery was a blur. I focused on the Ipod music, whatever would help me persevere the running strain. Interactions became the hands on a clock. While walking, however, I have discovered that the scenery is actually very enjoyable. I can feel what makes a deep breath so exhilarating. Interactions have ceased and friendships and love instead have blossomed. I think I prefer the walking path, for now, knowing that I will never foresee the time when running might be necessary.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Why haven’t I written for the past four months?
Why haven’t I written for the past four months? Is it because I’m not really an author? Am I a one hit wonder? I wrote for 80-days straight and then nothing, zilch, nada tostada. So what happened? I felt great when I was writing every day, so why did I stop?
A week after I completed part II of The Superman Effect, an opportunity to have my book published presented itself. Did it ever!
"Are you the Next Top Spiritual Author? Click Here for more details
Was it pure coincidence? After going through countless serendipitous happenings, witnessing so many magic moments, trusting that all is perfect and seeing my new life arranging itself exactly as I had envisioned, it’s a bit of a stretch to believe in coincidences. Well I entered the competition the day I received the invitation. No fear in the registration moment. It was one of a few inspired actions that would carry me to today. I say a few because the past four months have been full of empty space and then a few perfectly timed actions. The juice of life resides amidst a sea of inactivity or worse, activity that is uninspired. “I’m supposed to be busy so I’ll pack my day with stuff to do”. I took a different approach to the past four months. I let it be. If I did not feel inspired to act, I did nothing. I did not feel like writing even though I had quit my job to become a writer so I did not write. I did not feel ready to promote my life coaching business so I took classes instead. I would tell myself that I am doing inner work. Did that feel good? Not at all. I’m supposed to be going gangbusters, pushing through my inertia and making money. Yet, my intuition was tugging at me to learn a deeper lesson: Can I sit with inactivity without judgment? Can I wrestle with my resistance to be still until I felt the freedom that comes from winning the battle? Can I truly trust that, as an old song from the musical Pippin says “Everything has its seasons, everything has its time.”? I will have the energy to take appropriate action when the time is right. So I took long walks, then felt bad about it. I met up with old friends for lunch, then rushed to listen to an audio about making things happen. Constant guilt, then acceptance, then more guilt and more acceptance.
I do not know if I will win the competition. What I do know is that these past four months have taught me more about letting go than any other period in my life. The desire to do more, be more, achieve more is subsiding. Divine purpose and surrender is taking its place. I am opening my heart and now, after four months, I am ready to write about what’s inside.
No other agenda but to open my heart more and more. I may never be published but I guarantee you that I will feel fulfilled. My new desire: To open my heart without judgment. Feel you tomorrow!
A week after I completed part II of The Superman Effect, an opportunity to have my book published presented itself. Did it ever!
"Are you the Next Top Spiritual Author? Click Here for more details
Was it pure coincidence? After going through countless serendipitous happenings, witnessing so many magic moments, trusting that all is perfect and seeing my new life arranging itself exactly as I had envisioned, it’s a bit of a stretch to believe in coincidences. Well I entered the competition the day I received the invitation. No fear in the registration moment. It was one of a few inspired actions that would carry me to today. I say a few because the past four months have been full of empty space and then a few perfectly timed actions. The juice of life resides amidst a sea of inactivity or worse, activity that is uninspired. “I’m supposed to be busy so I’ll pack my day with stuff to do”. I took a different approach to the past four months. I let it be. If I did not feel inspired to act, I did nothing. I did not feel like writing even though I had quit my job to become a writer so I did not write. I did not feel ready to promote my life coaching business so I took classes instead. I would tell myself that I am doing inner work. Did that feel good? Not at all. I’m supposed to be going gangbusters, pushing through my inertia and making money. Yet, my intuition was tugging at me to learn a deeper lesson: Can I sit with inactivity without judgment? Can I wrestle with my resistance to be still until I felt the freedom that comes from winning the battle? Can I truly trust that, as an old song from the musical Pippin says “Everything has its seasons, everything has its time.”? I will have the energy to take appropriate action when the time is right. So I took long walks, then felt bad about it. I met up with old friends for lunch, then rushed to listen to an audio about making things happen. Constant guilt, then acceptance, then more guilt and more acceptance.
I do not know if I will win the competition. What I do know is that these past four months have taught me more about letting go than any other period in my life. The desire to do more, be more, achieve more is subsiding. Divine purpose and surrender is taking its place. I am opening my heart and now, after four months, I am ready to write about what’s inside.
No other agenda but to open my heart more and more. I may never be published but I guarantee you that I will feel fulfilled. My new desire: To open my heart without judgment. Feel you tomorrow!
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